This morning we resolved one of the most pressing issues of our time. The first Dunkin’ Donuts in our region opened up a few blocks from our house and, Krispy Kreme loyalists that we are, we decided it was time for a scientific analysis of whose donuts are in fact the superior.
Agent Nikki was dispatched to the Dunkin’ Donuts, as it’s attached to a gas station and she needed to fuel her car.
Agents Marcy and Dan were deployed to the local (and freshly remodeled) Krispy Kreme.
Both sorties were sent with a list:
- One Plain Glazed
- One Cake Donut
- One Bavarian Creme-Filled
- One Fluff-filled (frosting)
- One cruller
- Glazed with chocolate frosting
- One large coffee
Both donut-acquisition teams were upsold by their respective donut-vendors to a full dozen, each thinking they were the only one biting that particular offer. As a result, among the three testing agents, we had a total of 24 assorted donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts Contenders
Agent Nikki was somewhat thwarted in her efforts. The Dunkin’ Donuts being as new as it is, it was completely swamped with donut shoppers. Many items were out, and some weren’t made in this particular store. There was a large, angry New York lady in front of her who bought all (”Whaddya mean you only have three? Well, I’ll take ‘em!”) bavarian creme donuts. Also, they don’t make crullers at that location. As luck would have it, some of the things she chose to round out her dozen matched some of the donuts that the other team chose.
Krispy Kreme Contenders
The sharp-eyed and quick of number will notice a certain lack of dozen-ness in the Krispy Kreme boxes. This is because Agents Dan and Marcy rounded out their dozen with two hot glazed donuts, which they’d eaten before they left the KK parking lot. These, they had reasoned, were non-experimental “bonus donuts”. Agent Nikki reports she’s “Still mad about that”.
The two large coffees were divided into two cups each, for the two coffee drinkers (Agent Marcy abstains, prefering Irish Tea with a little bit of Lapsang Soochang).
It was at this point we discovered our first major violation of Scientific Method. Despite Agent Nikki’s specific instructions to the contrary, the Dunkin people had pre-doctored her coffee for her. This meant it was perfect for her, but not for Agent Dan, who likes his coffee the way he likes his howler monkeys (hot, black and screaming).
Scientific Method VIOLATED!
But scientific progress cannot be so easily defeated. Agent Dan agreed he could drink coffee in such a state, and the testing samples were en-cupped, and the Krispy Kreme coffee doctored to match the Dunkin’.
Agent Nikki prepares the Test Samples
....And mixes them to matching cream and sugar dilutions
The samples, prepared for testing
Meanwhile, Agent Marcy was laying out the donut samples in a pseudo-random fashion that fooled nobody:
The donuts
As you can see, both donut-acquisition squads had serendipitously filled out their dozen with some like-type donuts. Both squads returned to the testing facility with a raspberry-filled donut and a chocolate cake donut. As a result, we had a total of five like-type donuts to sample.
Finally, the testing samples were entirely prepared, and we steeled ourselves to begin the testing regimen:
Let the games begin.
COFFEE
Commencing Coffee Sampling
At first sip, it was clear to both Agents exactly the state of the coffee. While pre-sweetening made Agent Nikki’s life a bit more convenient, it inhibited Agent Dan’s ability to properly suss out the finer notes of the blend and brew. All the same, both Agents agreed the Dunkin’ Donuts coffe to be far preferable to the Krispy Kreme. Agent Dan noted the “more rubust flavor” of the DD coffee, while Agent Nikki noted that the KK coffee was “bitter, watery, bland and terrible.”
Coffee: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
PLAIN GLAZED
Plain Glazed. Guess which is which!
Our first test was to be the sina qua non of donutdom: the plain glazed.
Side by side, the two samples present obvious differences. All three agents agreed on the basics: Krispy Kreme’s plain glazed is smaller, more delicate, and certainly glazier–the glaze is thick and glossy and coats the donut very evenly, no doubt as a result of the fabled “glaze waterfall” that each donut passes through behind the nose-smudged glass in the back of the store. Dunkin’ Donuts’ glazed was larger, heavier, and the glaze seemed thinner.
Comparison of Plain Glazed core samples: KK left, DD right.
The Adorkable Agent Dan commences testing procedures.
One bite made the differences even more stark. In the words of Agent Dan, the Krispy Kreme is “vastly superior”. It’s softer, squishier, and yet still quite crispy. It’s a yeastier, lighter dough, cooked to the consistency of a very soft cake surrounded by crispy fried shell. By comparison, the Dunkin’ glazed is spongy, less sweet, much more firm. It’s more “cakey”.
Agent Marcy is not impressed with the Dunkin' Donuts plain glazed.
All three Agents preferred the Krispy Kreme to the Dunkin’ Donuts.
Plain Glazed: Krispy Kreme: 3, Dunkin’ Donuts: 0
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 3, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
At this point, it should be noted, Agent Dan was dispatched for napkins.
PLAIN GLAZED DUNK-TEST
It was decided at this point that both plain glazed donuts should be subjected to a coffee-dunk test. While not all donut eaters are dunkers, it is a relatively common approach to their consumption, and we figured we could show our final scores both with and without dunking, for the sake of both completeness and fairness. The anti-coffee Agent Marcy abstained from dunking tests, leaving two points on the table.
To our surprise, the Krispy Kreme plain glazed didn’t hold up to the dunk test at all. Its squishyness and emptiness–its greatest advantage in straight-up eating–proved a liability in coffee dunking. The relatively spongy consistency of the Dunkin’ Donuts plain glazed actually sucked up (spongelike, see) and retained coffee, while the KK donut just went to mush.
The DD plain glazed can handle the coffee!
Plain Glazed Dunk-Test: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 3, Dunkin’ Donuts: 4
CAKE DONUT
Next up were the cake donuts. Without much ceremonial fanfare, the Agents sampled both cake donuts.
Visual observation wasn’t terribly fruitful here; while the DD cake donut is larger than the KK, they both looked roughly the same. On tasting them, however, the differences became clear.
The Krispy Kreme cake donut is crumbly and dry. “Sticks in the back of my throat,” croaked Agent Dan. Agent Marcy proclaimed that it “tastes like Play-doh”. None of the agents particularly appreciated the relatively bland dryness.
The Dunkin’ Donuts cake, on the other hand, was met with rave reviews. It was found to be moist and slightly sweet, with a touch of cinnamon flavor. It has a little bit of crust and what Agent Marcy referred to as a “complex texture”.
Cake Donuts: KK left, DD right.
Cake Donut: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 3
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 3, Dunkin’ Donuts: 7
Agent Shadow is quite fond of Krispy Kreme cake donuts. But cats don't vote.
CAKE DONUT DUNK-TEST
On dunking the cake donuts, the differences became even more stark. The KK cake donut acquired a little bitter flavor from the coffee, yet not enough to actually be called un-bland. Agent Dan’s sample actually fell apart INTO his coffee, which he found irritating. “Still not a fan,” proclaimed Agent Nikki.
The DD was generally preferred. While the sweetness with the coffee flavor left Agent Dan a bit cold, he acknowledges this as a personal preference. If there were a howler-monkey-flavored donut, he’d probably love it dunked in coffee. Agent Nikki noted the vast coffee-retention qualities of the DD cake donut.
Cake Donut Dunk-Test: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 3, Dunkin’ Donuts: 9
At this point, Agent Dan had to admit his surprise at the scoring, and confessed to having come into the testing process with a pro-Krispy Kreme bias, probably related to the home-town nature of the franchise. Nonetheless, science is science, and the results were starting to look conclusive.
RASPBERRY-FILLED
Next up, the Raspberry Filled donuts.
A slight asterisk here–the DD raspberry-filled is covered with powdered sugar, while the KK has a light glaze. So while we’re not exactly comparing apples and apples here, we did factor these differences into our ultimate preference.
Also, Agent Marcy is generally not a fan of raspberry. So while she did man up and participate in this sampling, she’d probably never actually order one of these, and she finally did abstain from voting on this comparison.
A study in contrasts.
The Dunkin’ Donuts again had a spongier texture, while the Krispy Kreme was squishier. What was interesting was the interaction with the filling. The DD filling was a real jelly–there was a texture to it, and as Agent Dan noted, “It may have once met fruit.” The Krispy Kreme filling was smoother and creamier, but seemed suspiciously synthetic.
Agent Marcy ponders.
Agents Marcy and Dan preferred the flavor of the KK filling to that of the DD, despite its likely less-than-natural origins. Agent Nikki preferred the DD filling, and noted that the gooey softness of the Krispy Kreme donut probably couldn’t stand up to the thicker and more textural Dunkin’ Donuts raspberry jam.
Raspberry Filled: Krispy Kreme: 1, Dunkin’ Donuts: 1, and 1 “meh”
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 4, Dunkin’ Donuts: 10
CHOCOLATE CAKE DONUT
Again, this is a donut that we lucked into having a matched pair of because both acquisition teams filled out their dozen with this selection. The Krispy Kreme donut MAY have been a sour cream donut, but this didn’t particularly figure into the comparison.
In a split decision, Agent Nikki came down on the side of the less-sweet Dunkin’ Donuts sample, while Agents Marcy and Dan didn’t care for it, comparing it to “eating a flat tire”. Agent Nikki cited a “more rounded, fruity flavor to the chocolate.” Agent Dan agreed that, “to whatever degree you can taste the chocolate, it’s rounded and fruity”.
At this point Agent Nikki began trying to defend her chosen donut. “It’s like CAKE!” she cried. “Cake with a Play-doh aftertaste, maybe,” Agent Marcy replied.
Chocolate Cake: Krispy Kreme: 2, Dunkin’ Donuts: 1
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 6, Dunkin’ Donuts: 11
CHOCOLATE CAKE DUNK-TEST
In a shocking reversal, Agent Dan found that coffee flipped his opinion of the chocolate cake donuts entirely. Dunk-testing the Krispy Kreme chocolate cake donut was met with grimaces and shouting.
Agent Dan doesn't care for a dunked KK chocolate cake
It was proclaimed to be far far far too sweet. “My teeth hurt” cried Agent Dan. “Aw hell no!” said Agent Nikki. Both Agents enjoyed the chocolate mocha quality of the less-sugary Dunkin’ Donuts chocolate cake donut when dunked.
Chocolate Cake: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 2
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 6, Dunkin’ Donuts: 13
GLAZED CHOCOLATE-ICED
Another asterisk here–Dunkin’ Donuts was all out of glazed chocolate-iced. What Agent Nikki acquired was a chocolate-iced with sprinkles.
All comments about the donut itself carry over from the plain glazed test, as the donuts themselves are entirely the same. The difference, however, is all in the icing.
Agent Dan noted that the KK’s chocolate icing seemed artificial, but wasn’t a great big fan of the DD icing either. On the whole he preferred the DD. Agent Marcy noted that the eggy taste of the DD donut goes well with the chocolate. In the end all three agents prefered the Dunkin’ Donut.
Glazed Chocolate-iced: Krispy Kreme: 0, Dunkin’ Donuts: 3
Overall: Krispy Kreme: 6, Dunkin’ Donuts: 16
OVERALL SCORES
Total scores:
Krispy Kreme: 6, Dunkin’ Donuts: 16
Backing out the coffee-related scoring (the coffee itself and all dunking tests):
Krispy Kreme: 6, Dunkin’ Donuts: 8
ANALYSIS
On any measure, it appears from our taste testing that Dunkin’ Donuts are superior to Krispy Kreme. Including dunk-tests, it’s a rout, but even taking those out of the scoring, Dunkin’ wins.
It’s interesting to note that, true to their name, Dunkin’ Donuts is the superior dunking donut. Dunkin’ swept all the dunk tests, and had the vastly superior coffee.
However, it’s worth noting that the plain glazed donut from Krispy Kreme was a unanimous favorite over the one from Dunkin’ Donuts, and was actually the single most praised donut on the table. So if you’re looking to get back to basics, Krispy Kreme is clearly the place, especially if they’re fresh and hot. If you’re driving by and see that light come on, GO IN THERE and get one. But if you don’t mind a donut that may have seen a few minutes cooling in a rack, or if you want something more exotic than plain glazed, or ESPECIALLY if you want coffee, head to Dunkin’ Donuts.
Agents Marcy and Nikki overseeing the post-testing carnage. Agent Nemo was not consulted.
